I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not you're better off not knowing these facts.
|This screenshot might inform the decision.|
This time we went with Hills Have Eyes user made scenario, which takes place in and around a castle.
The Task: a multinational team of US Marines has left their camp to carry out an important mission: assault an enemy base located in a historical Chernarussian castle, and blow up a nearby radio tower if they have time to spare.
Capt. Sekundaari (callsign: Sniperman): "These nuts are great"
Sgt. bucaneer (callsign: bucaneer): "ALL, HETERO!"
Pvt. Someone (callsign: GAME): "Crap, I missed that priest"
Pvt. Manny (callsign: total expert): "this isn't Portal apparently"
|Sniperman fighting the widespread problem of unsanctioned bike usage|
We start out in a comfy base, equipped with a weapon stockpile, a couple of hummvees, an ambulance, a bike, a repair truck and even a transport chopper. We
|STATUS - RED!|
We take turns hopping into the driver's seat and determine that, while the tracks have taken near-critical damage, they are still capable of movement, albeit very slowly. Unfortunately this is not to last, as bucaneer tries to excercise his incredible driving skills and backs up onto one of two mines he himself put on the road for the ambush, one which hasn't been detonated - up until now. The explosion propells my lifeless carcass onto a crude fence surrounding the checkpoint seconds before I finish typing "DONT" into the chat (having noticed the idle mine during my turn at the wheel), total expert also dies, as well as the APC's prospects of movement. After Sniperguy finishes ressurecting us unfortunate minenauts, we determine that the turret is too damaged to use as a stationary firing position, and therefore abandon the war machine and continue our assault on foot.
|This is, literally, 90% of the game.|
Sniperman sort of forgets about this whole "squad" thing and crawls away to the castle walls while we try to poke out of cover and take down the MG, get pulverized and nursed back to health. Then, bucaneer tries to get closer and gets killed halfway across the field. total expert crawls to him, and I do my best to cover him, but we are attacked out in the open from several directions and killed before we can save bucaneer, followed shortly by Sniperman.
|bucaneer is 2cool4steeringwheel|
The new plan is to try and bring the repair truck - guarded by a hummvee - to the critically damaged APC we left near the castle checkpoint, and see if we can restore it and raise some hell. We probably should have done it before we attacked on foot, but the last time we attempted the scenario we ended up in the same situation and the repair truck failed to reanimate the damaged vehicle, and this time we couldn't be bothered to trek all the way back to the base to get the truck and have another go at it. Now, however, we needed a ride to get back into action anyway, and killed two birds with one stone by riding the Repair truck. The hummvee, with Sniperman and total expert, utilizes an original escorting tactic by driving away from us as fast as possible, while bucaneer uses his superior trucking skills and knowledge of the terrain to take a shortcut through the woods, but something goes wrong and the car gets stuck in trees and mud for a few minutes, before the ace driver finally manages to return it to the village road, and narrowly dodge getting it stuck again - this time for good - between a concrete barn and some stacks of hay. We get shot by a mystery sniper a few times, but escape unscathed and arrive to the checkpoint. The repair truck gets parked near the wayward Russian APC and - oh wonder of wonders! - gets repaired fully. We hop into the armored carrier, total expert takes the steering wheel, and off we go.
|Which side is forward again?|
|There were two gunners here. They're gone now.|
|What a rotten way to die|